The date
Dating back thousands of years, marriage customs remain an important part of Chinese culture. From the days of arranged marriages, where the local matchmaker would find a suitable bride for the groom from a neighbouring village, modern couples have narrowed down the many rituals to a few key ones. A ‘lucky’ auspicious date would be picked for the couple based on their birth dates and zodiac year. This is why our celebration is taking place on a Monday!
pre-wedding rituals
The hair combing ceremony is a tradition that symbolizes the coming of age and entrance into adulthood. This is usually performed the night before the wedding. Prior to the actual act of combing the hair, the bride must first bathe in water with pomelo or pomegranate leaves to ward off evil spirits. After bathing, they change into new clothing and put on new bedroom slippers. The bride must then sit in a room facing the window where the moon is seen or in front of the mirror. A woman of good fortune (either bride's mother or other female relative) must be the one to perform the combing ceremony. The hair is combed four times, while these four lines are recited simultaneously:
"May your marriage last a lifetime
May you be blessed with a happy and harmonious marriage until old age
May you be blessed with an abundance of children and grandchildren
May you be blessed with longevity"
After this, the bride and groom must eat glutinous rice balls that symbolize they will have a happy, complete, and lasting marriage.
tea ceremony
what the bride wears
Chinese brides wear a red “Kwa”, a skirt and jacket heavily embroidered with silver and gold thread. It always has a dragon and phoenix motif, which symbolizes perfect harmony between yin (female) and yang (male) forces. In ancient China, these symbols would only have been used by the Emperor and his family. It is said that one Emperor gifted his trusted advisor with a Kwa as a dowry, when he heard the advisor's daughter was to be married and since then it has popularly been used.
This is the most important wedding tradition since it’s the time that the bride and groom pay respect to their parents and express gratitude for the many years under their wing. First, the couple will serve tea to the bride’s parents followed by the bride’s other family and relatives. After this, they will proceed with the groom’s parents and family.
Gifts
Chinese wedding guests traditionally give a monetary gift in lucky red envelopes called "lai see" to the couple. A useful guide to Chinese gift etiquette is here. In lieu of a typical Western style registry, we would ask our guests to give a donation towards our honeymoon or future plans. Red envelopes will be provided on the day.
hair combing ceremony
Bridesmaids games
This originated from the ancient times, when the bride was considered as a prized daughter, and her family would not want to marry her off easily. Therefore, a man 'worthy' of her hand would have to pass certain “tests” before he can take his wife (today these are represented by the games). The games are set by the bridesmaids and traditionally done at the door when the groom comes to collect his bride. When the groom (or groomsmen) have passed the challenges, the bride finally comes out and together the couple proceed to the car, while a bridesmaid holds a red umbrella over he head to protect the bride from evil spirits. Rice is thrown over the umbrella and the bridal car to attract good luck.
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